PPEgate
When “Helping Your Mates” Became a National Procurement Strategy
If you ever needed proof that Britain runs less like a modern democracy and more like a village fête organised by the same five people who win every raffle, look no further than the pandemic PPE bonanza. While the public was told to “pull together,” certain well‑connected individuals were apparently told to “pull up a chair — contracts are being served.”
Let’s start with the numbers, because they’re as subtle as a foghorn. According to the National Audit Office, companies with political connections were 10 times more likely to win contracts through the so‑called “VIP lane.” Billions — not millions — were handed out without competitive tender. Some firms had no experience in medical supplies. One even specialised in pest control. Because nothing says “frontline protection” like a company whose previous expertise was evicting raccoons.
And what did taxpayers get for this generosity? £4 billion worth of unusable PPE, according to government accounts. Masks that didn’t fit. Gowns that didn’t meet standards. Gloves that were about as protective as wet tissue. Meanwhile, NHS staff were reusing equipment, improvising with bin bags, and praying that competence might one day become contagious.
The real sting isn’t just the waste — it’s the brazenness. Contracts weren’t quietly mishandled; they were loudly funnelled to friends, donors, and conveniently placed “entrepreneurs” who seemed to discover a passion for public health the moment the cheques appeared. Procurement rules weren’t bent; they were treated like optional guidelines, the sort you ignore when assembling flat‑pack furniture.
And now? Accountability drifts somewhere between “pending” and “don’t hold your breath.” The public is left wondering how a national emergency turned into a networking opportunity for the well‑connected.
If crises reveal character, the PPE scandal revealed a political culture that treats public money like a private buffet — and the rest of us are left picking up the tab.
